Winter blues have always hit me hard. The short, dark days, the unpredictable weather, the days and days of bitter cold where it hurts to even open the door. As I have gotten older, I think they hit me harder. Growing up and i, I had sports and after school activities that kept me busy, I had a social life that actually involved seeing humans and spending time with them face to face on a regular basis (okay, side note: isn't it strange to think how social we were back in high school and college?!). There was homework to do, a party to get ready for, sex ed bingo at the MUB. But, as a young adult without kids, college courses or friends who socialize much throughout the week, I feel like the work week drags on, and on and on.
I stare at the clock all day, waiting until it's time to sign off work for the day.. And then I make my way upstairs to the couch where I zone out, streaming a show and scrolling on my phone. I feel guilty sitting around all lazy and unproductive, but I have zero intention of going for a walk when it is 11 outside and the sun is setting by 5pm. I find myself staring at the clock again, waiting until it's a reasonable time to go to bed. Then I go through my nightly routine, climb into bed and wake up the next morning to do it all over again.
There's plenty I could do to keep busy, and realistically, if I look at the amount of stuff I get done during a typical week, I really shouldn't feel guilty about succumbing to my winter blues. I imagine that if you've read this far, thinking to yourself, "Oh my gosh, I feel like I do the same thing, what the heck?", you probably have accomplished more than you're giving yourself credit for today, too.
I guess the point of me sharing this isn't that I have a solution or even think there needs to be one, I guess the point is to make sure you know you aren't alone. There are always going to be days where you feel like you accomplished nothing and only left the couch for more snacks and a bathroom break - and that is okay. And, if you live in a place where winter exists, those days may be more frequent during the winter, and extended winter, and second winter after the fake spring.
I have spent the last 5 hours sitting on my couch, wondering what project I could start so I don't feel as pathetic tonight. But, after finishing this little blog post, I have decided that the next thing I will do is make myself another soda water and binge watch Season 8 of Alone.