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I want to be a blogger..

I've always loved writing. For as long as I can remember, I have had journals piled up with fully pages of my thoughts, dreams, heartaches and triumphs. Seriously, the amount of journals I have tucked away in bins and stacked on bookshelves is almost embarrassing. My fourth grade teacher gave me a journal at the end of the year and I'm pretty sure I still have it all these years later (thanks Mrs. Nadori!).

I share a lot on social media and I love it. I love talking about donating blood, educating people about monarch butterflies, inspiring people to get their bodies moving and sharing when things aren't going great. I've always found comfort in writing and, I hope that others find comfort in my writing.

For the last few weeks, I have been working on filling out an application for a Professional Development class at my work and one of the questions I had to answer was "If you could have any career, what would it be? Why?" Ugh - why couldn't they ask me to write an essay about whether pineapple belongs on pizza?!

I seriously have spent WEEKS trying to answer this damn question. I wrote, deleted, wrote again, almost sent, deleted, walked away and then started all over. This question has always stumped me, my interests are vast, but I also know myself and feel like I get tired of doing the same thing for too long. I have always wanted to go back to school, but I can never decide what to study and the commitment is too big for me to justify without being 100% certain.

Anyways, the deadline was fast approaching and I needed to get my application in. I finally wrote "Professional Blogger" and pieced together a pretty decent explanation about why it was a good career for me and how I would use my platform to help people. As soon as I finished, I started to second guess myself, I mean, Professional Blogger? Who even says that? Especially on an application that will be seen by my boss and the higher ups in HR. I started to feel embarrassed.

But, then I'd write it again.. And rewrite the blurb.. I started to grow some confidence in my response, but it wasn't enough. Delete. Delete. Delete.

I reached out to a few friends. "I wrote that my interests and hobbies range drastically and that the one thing that stays the same is my desire to help people/inspire people and that writing has always been a way for me to share my experiences/insight while continuing to do what interests me.."

One of my best friends in the world responded, "I think you should write that down. You are passionate about it."

I needed his validation. With it, I realized I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I love to write, I love to be a positive influence, I love to encourage and motivate, I love to share, I love to connect, I love to express myself. I have always received positive feedback from my FB pages and content, so why am I embarrassed to want to make a career out of what I am passionate about and what I am good at?

I guess the answer is stigma. It's the "what if someone thinks", "what if someone says...", "what if..."

I wrote my response and sent it. I told my supervisor, my manager, my HR department and anyone else who read that application, that I want to be a Professional Blogger. And now, I am telling you!

Whew, it feels good to write that. It's out there.

Now, what does "professional" really mean in this job title? Who knows. I'll figure that out along the way.. Maybe.. But, for now, I'll continue to write and share what I know and love, and probably a bit of what I don't know and don't love! Stay tuned!

By the way.. I actually don't know where I fall on the pineapple on pizza debate..

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